Time & Space

My daughter sent me an email of something that I had spoken over her and into her  life six years ago. As I read it I was amazed at the timeliness of how accurate and replace the those words are in her life today. It is as if I spoke them into existence for now.  I was gently reminded in my spirit that in our world we are handicapped by time and space. Time is the element that we are running against from the moment we are born until the day it runs out. It regulates everything we do because of our awareness of it’s limitations.

In Gods world there is no limitation of time because he is time. So when he sets something into motion or declares a thing to be, it is, and it is for the past, present and future. My God, my Father, my Lord, my Friend, in who’s image I was created, in awesome wonder. Selah!

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“Black Lives Matter” What’s the big deal?

What I am about to say is in no way the fullness of the issues that we are facing today or what is fully behind the Black lives movement.  But It is what began to stir within me as I watched the unfolding of events over the last few days.
The shooting of eleven police officers in Dallas was a senseless act of cold-blooded murder.  This act of violence forced everyone that witnessed it whether on media or in person, to see and feel what it’s like to be a victim or victimized.  And the reason given, was due to the uniform they wore especially being on white skin.
That is clearly seen for what it is, hatred and racism fueled by anger and power taken in their own hands.  That my people is what has been the cry of Black people with the violent, aggressive, and senseless Murders that have been taking place with our Black men.
With the Dallas shootings, there have been and is being such an outpour of sympathy and support for the families, and children left behind, for the officers that have to go out daily and continue their jobs, for the friends that were and will be affected.  All of that and rightly so but….
This is a clear depiction of the inequality and inequity that stirs the cry to say “Black Lives Matter” what do I mean?  The media is pushing stories of  commendations the slain officers have received, the good they did in the communities, how good of a person they were and the impact that their deaths will leave on those left behind.  All of their clean laundry, none of their dirty.
Most importantly, are the acts of kindness, support and commitment that the police force as a whole is being shown, (not that it shouldn’t be) coming from other institutions in the community as well as individuals, lining up to give officers a hug letting them know they are with them, they sympathize…
Statements from police officers of how they appreciate the support because they felt they were alone” how they fear for their lives every time they have to put that uniform on, how they feel they are being targeted”
These are the same cries our black men have  been screaming for years! This is what we are saying that is happening to Blacks in particular.  But it has  not been met with empathy or understanding, instead, when violent acts of murder and brutality from the Police are shown on media towards black men.
The responses are skepticism, criticism and  judgement.  The mans character is immediately put on trial.  What gets magnified is all his faults, criminal behavior whether past present or future.  The general assumption is that he deserved it somehow and then begins the hunt for what he did or didn’t do, that caused him to receive such brutality.
No sympathy for his family or children,  no empathy from the public about the fear that he or his black brothers are faced with on a daily basis; because of the skin they are in.  And worst of all is that there is no justice, every act committed by the uniform ALWAYS no matter what ends in Not Guilty!
No benefit of the doubt towards the possibility that they really are getting targeted or treated unfairly, (executed) without trial but simply because of the skin they are in.
There is a vast chasm about how our justice system treats blacks as opposed to whites.  Why did my husband have to sit our sons down before they were teens and give them the “Golden Rule”  on how they must behave themselves when approached by a cop?  Yes they should learn to respect authority as well as understand that authority will also respect their rights as equal human beings.
That is the war that Blacks have been waging here in America and that is behind the cry today that says Black Lives Matter.  When we can put aside our differences and realize that the same pain and anguish the families of those slain officers are feeling for a senseless act of murder is the same pain and anguish that the families of those slain black men are facing for the murder without justice that their men have faced.  The same fear that police officers feel when they put on that uniform and go out into the community to protect and serve is the same fear that Blacks feel when they go out into the community and get stopped by the police.  We have to learn to set aside our fears, prejudices and misunderstandings towards each other and decide to respect and treat one another like equal human beings.  Yes all lives matter, but the ones that are being extinguished and without the equal protection of the law are Black.  That’s my take on why Black Lives Matter.

Life After……

imageSo here we are, writing, thinking, feeling some kind of way.  Who’d a thunk it, that some twenty plus years later I would be where I am today. Though I have a lot to be thankful for; like my husband of now forty years, my five children still speaking to me and each other.  Them still coming over bringing with them my 13 grand babies for barbecues and to hang out and be around me and their dad.

My going back to school and getting my bachelors then on to get my coaching certification and starting my own non profit all while the wounds are still there and evident but not raw and bleeding from my life before.

 You see when it was all over and the fog finally started to clear, I really saw no hope or reason to continue, didn’t  think my life would have meaning or a reason to persue.  I was disintegrated, marginalized, wiped out and made into a zero.

I had to conform and fit into the collective not be my own person or have my own perspective, oh but life after.

 There is hope, there is a pot of gold on the other side of the rainbow, but you just have to hold on and not give up; for right before your eyes, right in your sphere,  is someone that has passed through your fog to the other side of the cloud; waiting and willing to help pull you through to your, life after.


 

 

 

Other People’s Opinion of You…Not Your Own

image “When people put you down long enough you start to believe it”. I was watching the movie Pretty Woman today and I heard Julia Roberts make that statement. For those who have not seen the movie it’s a Cinderella type love story about a hooker, Julia and her rich Jon Richard Gere who pays her to spend the week with him as his date.  After spending time with her he Begins to see that there’s more to her than what is seen in the life she has been living.
He tells her that she is smart and starts to tell her the good attributes that he sees, she makes the statement, when you hear negative and derogatory things said about you for so long you begin to believe it and then you start to become it,(my emphasis.)  The bad stuff is easier to believe than the good.

Hearing that statement sparked me to write this piece because it’s so true.  Each of us can tell our own story about the unbelief we feel when someone tells us about all the good things they see or admire about us.

How much do we focus on and believe the criticisms of others more than the strengths and capabilities that we hold.

Even when we do know our owns strengths and gifts,we many times cower back in the background and let others take ownership and responsibility for things we clearly know we would do better.  We do it because we either don’t really believe in ourselves enough or are afraid to step up and take on the challenge.

We don’t have to allow other people’s opinion of us to become our reality.  We need only believe in ourselves enough to know that we can do what we determine or were gifted to do, and watch our environment open up and lead us into the right time and place.

But as the pretty woman said, it’s easier to believe the bad stuff.  My take is because we have been conditioned to.

It’s easier and does not take much effort.  When you decide to press in to who you know you were meant to be, you are many times going up stream in a downhill current.

One of the things I have been working on to help renew my mind to believe the truth about who I am, is to participate in the daily A.B.L.E. challenge that Charity’s Hope has going for the month.  Research shows that it takes twenty eight days to change a habit.

Doing the A.B.L.E’s for tthirtyt days is building a new habit.  A.B.L.E. stands for A Beautiful Loving Expression.  It is a statement you start with “I am” A Beautiful Loving Expression of……what ever you are declaring to be the expression of that day.

The goal is to get you to think about who you are or the you that you are striving to be.  In thinking about who that is, you begin to speak or declare to yourself what Beautiful, Loving, Expression of that person you are going to be that day.  It doesn’t matter if that is you Yet.  In declaring it at the beginning of your day you are planting the seeds in your conscious mind to start hearing out of your own mouth, what you believe about yourself.

As you hear yourself  expressing the positive attributes of you in the tense of it being now; you are re conditioning yourself to believe that it is,  even if  not yet in full manifestation.  This makes it normal and natural as you begin to operate in the Beautiful Loving Expressions of yourself that you have declared to be you.

This is the process of not allowing other people’s opinions of you become your reality unless that opinion is in agreement with the reality of you that you know to be the one you choose.  You don’t have to believe the unbelief of others about you, when they speak their negative beliefs you declare, I am A.B.L.E!

Adversity the stuff that builds fortitude

20140317-094648.jpg  We, Charity’s Hope are doing a 30 day challenge to declare what we are ABLE (A Beautiful Loving Expression) of; to retrain our minds from focusing on what we are not or cannot do to who we are and are doing. The challenge is to wake up and declare what you will be A beautiful loving expression of, and make that your goal for the day or what you are as a result of what you have already gone through and have come out with.
Today my A.B.L.E was fortitude. I choose that because with what I have passed through in my life, I would be considered a statistic and tragedy, a life wasted. Instead I am a Victor and more powerful than I have ever been. When I looked up the definition of fortitude it was truly a match because it means: “Strength of mind that allows one to endure pain or adversity” It is was the pain and adversity of my life that gave me the strength to know that I can and will succeed at anything I choose to do. What doesn’t kill you truly does make you stronger, you just have to change your paradigm(the way you look at or perceive a thing) and refuse to be a statistic.
We are one thought away from any direction we want to go in life. You cannot change your past, it is done, but you can change your response to the circumstances of it by choosing to accept a higher view of what happened. It does not mean we ignore or be in denial of it but that we choose to not allow it to dictate our lives going forward. In doing so we give ourselves freedom and are liberated from the chains that keeps us enslaved to the person, thing or circumstance that inflicted or contributed to the pain or adversity. It is in the mind that we either stay locked in the time and space of the event or walk out of it into the future that we choose. Fortitude, it is fortitude that I have walked out of my adversity with, because now that I Am, I know that I can do/be whatever I choose, not what is expected.

I’ve been Liberated but am I Free?

Freedom vs. Liberty, this week while doing some personal development I heard a speaker talk about the difference between freedom and liberty.  Before that I never really thought about whether there was a difference because to me to have liberty meant you had freedom.  True but not necessarily.  You can be totally liberated from a thing but yet in bondage and not have freedom.  How many people do you know that are grown adults, living their own lives apart from their parents, yet are in absolute bondage to what their parents have to say about their lives, so much so they experience  full anxiety at the thought of them coming around.  That’s just a small example but you get the point.

To live a life of true freedom comes from a choice that you make regardless of the current circumstance that you may find yourself in.  It is a state of mind that you allow.  You can be in what appears to be burdened or bound in your outward circumstance but have total freedom.

In the Christian bible it is stated that, “Whom the Son sets free is free indeed” meaning that Jesus came to absolve us from our debt of bondage to a sinful nature and free us to live a life of no condemnation through the blood that he shed in payment for our freedom.  That is only activated when we choose to accept/believe it and act on it.

I like that freedom can be had regardless of the state of ones current situation; meaning, you can be incarcerated in a prison cell and still be free.  The mind is the one arena that NO one can touch.  It is the place that you have control over through choice.  It is where you decide whether you are going to allow what you experience on the outward dictate your actions or your inner principals rule.  It is in the mind where we win or lose our battles.  Between the stimuli and the response is that space of CHOICE.  I know all to well that this road is not an easy one to follow.  It is virtually impossible for me to not respond when my liberty is being stepped on, but I fully believe that when you are free, your liberties can be crushed and your freedom will still be in tact, because it is not predicated on what is done to you, but how you choose to interpret or view what is being done.

It is what you choose as a response to that outward stimulation that decides whether it will have power and control over you or you have the power and control over yourself.  It’s in that space between the stimulus, the thing that happens to you and your response, where the choice lies.  It is ever so subtle but ever so powerful.  We in that split second or moment have the ability to choose whether we will respond as a person that is free from outward triggers or in bondage to them.

Yea, I know this is some heavy stuff.  It is not something that you just jump into and master immediately, but it is something you can master.  Jesus demonstrated it when he did not allow the outward trial and persecution of the Sanhedrin dictate his responses.  He knew what they were doing but more than that he knew what his purpose was and he did not allow anything in the outward environment sway him from that.

When we allow outward circumstances dictate our inner peace, then we in fact are not free, but enslaved to the “thing” that can elicit a reaction from us at its whim.  True freedom is when we don’t allow Anything to overcome us or make us react from a place that is not of peace.  Once we are truly free then the environment will respond, bringing us true liberty.

It’s Been a Long Time

Various moments from Iphone 467

Wow, I have been so out of touch with my writing.  When I looked back at the last time I wrote anything on here it was in 2014.  I can’t believe I have been away this long.  Well no time to cry over spilled milk.  I am here now and pledge to stay.  There have been so many things happening since my time away that I don’t know where to start so if I sound a bit jumbled, please forgive me.

One of the things I have been working on in my time of silence is learning more about essential oils.  I had been a user for a couple of years but when a family member got diagnosed with stage four cancer, and the only sure resolution that the Dr.’s had to offer was the usual cocktails of chemo and radiation along with surgery; that would leave him with a severely depleted quality of life. I decided to get really serious about them.  As a result of seeing how they, along with Kangen ionized water made a world of difference in his outcome, I became an essential oil advocate and educator, teaching others about their power and uses as an alternative to pharmaceutical medicines.  It’s not that I am saying to not use medicine at all; I am advocating taking back the power to control how your health care will go, and don’t just relinquish all of it to the hands of the AMA (American Medical Association), and your doctors.

The problem with our society is that we have grown so dependent on the “Expertise” of someone with a title and label; that we have relinquished our ability to educate ourselves on matters that we have been conditioned to believe we are not qualified to deal with.  When we go and sit in the Dr.’s office we don’t go in with the mindset that they; though trained and educated in their field of study, don’t know or have all the answers.  There have been too many times that I have gone into the Dr.’s office and asked about a natural remedy that I wanted to use instead or try and was told, “I don’t know anything about that”… or urged against it because they weren’t supportive of it.  Just because they don’t know about it or have not been trained and educated in it, does not invalidate the practice or discredit it.  In many cases I find their (the medical dr.’s) opposition towards other health practices arrogant and narcissistic.

We as individuals have the same ability to investigate and do research or trust the research that others have already done to educate ourselves and choose what we feel is best for our bodies and lives if we want.

That being said, I will be adding information about how incorporating essential oils into our daily lives is an added tool to empower us on our journey. Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get, but you can choose how you will deal with what you get and not just fall victim to allowing others to choose for you.

That’s my bit for the moment, until next time.  Leave me a comment and let me know what you think.

What is your why?

As I go about being frenzied over all of the how too’s, the what all it takes and the must have to get your business going; I realize that the most important thing of it all is to know your Why? Why is it you feel you want to go into the vein of business or organization that you’ve chosen? Whatever the reason, it will need to be a strong as the heart that beats to keep you alive.
No matter how well you have your ducks in a row, it is the why, that will sustain you through it all. It is the why, that will push you through, when no one else believes in you, or when you don’t believe in yourself. It will be your conscience when you don’t feel like pursuing past your comfort zone.
I am learning a lot in the process of my journey to pursue what I know is my purpose in life. First I had to get to know myself. I mean really know, that included the bad, and the ugly as well as the good. Believe me it wasn’t and isn’t easy. There were aspects of me that I did not want to face or admit. There were weaknesses that I wanted to overlook and focus on the strengths instead.  I know that in order to be as real and effective as I want, and need to be in my line of work.  I had to take the challenge first. I had to first learn about me, how I function, why I operate, think or work the way I do. Where did my behaviors and beliefs come from, and are they relevant for where I am headed. Yea, like I said. What is your why? Once you get to the bottom of it all you will be amazed at the level of growth and development that you will experience. You will be able to clearly say, this is why…

The Change

These damn hot flashes! I know it’s pretty harsh language, but just how I feel. Going through “the change” is such a life altering event, no matter how much you read about it or others tell you how it’s going to be, the experience is yours and yours alone. No one can truly prepare you for all that You will go through while experiencing “the change”
Right now my room is at 47 degrees, yea but I dare not warm it up because the slightest bit of warmth signals my body to turn up the heat and there I go, breaking out into a sweat, throwing off the blanket, sweater or whatever I’m wearing. The moment I cool down of course I’m freezing! And there it begins the back and forth, clothes off, clothes on. There is no rest, I’ve tried the creams, oils and vitamins. Some days are better than others. Nights are the worst, with the tossing and turning I wake up tired. Oh well, I guess I’ll just ride with it today and see how far it takes me into its throws, the change.

YOU ARE NOT YOUR PAST, the lie we’ve been told.

As I was sitting this morning contemplating some things that I have been working out in my life, The phrase “You are Not Your Past” rang out in my mind. It is what I have stated over and over about life to others since I have been on this journey to change my own belief about who I am, in relation to what my past life and experiences held me to be.

As I thought about that statement, I realized, it is not true.  You are your past, and all that it has indoctrinated you to accept and believe.  Think about it.  The body we are in, actually went through the different experiences and episodes of our life’s journey, there is no getting around it.  Those experiences have been embedded into our psyche and have influenced our thinking and what we believe to the point that the repercussions of some experiences have become a part of our non conscious mind; yet they in fact are governing forces to our beliefs and behaviors. Whether we want to admit it or not, we become the products of what we are around the most, think about the most, and the habits we replicate the most.

The things we believe that we can and can’t do in life, are based on what we believe our strengths and weakness are and what we believe we have the ability to do and not do.  Even those of us who have ventured out to reach beyond our programming, and have stepped off the curb, away from the life we determined that we weren’t going to live; are still in many instances living in the shadows of our past programming’s.

I was looking at a teaching by Dr. Carol Dweck

on the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.  The lecture was based on a study that was measuring academic growth among elementary students.  She, through her research made a remarkable discovery about the psychological differences that made some students excel and others fail, this discovery on mindset is not relegated to children but for adults also.  Without going into details the research revealed the differences in outcome when you have been programmed to have a certain mindset.

That programming is a result of what you have been taught, through the actions and non actions of your environment as well as purposefully, by those that were put in your life to be your guides.

Long story short, since you are a product of your past the question then becomes do you have to live with its outcomes or do you have the power to change it?  My answer is a definitive YES! You have the ability to change the trajectory of your life at any point you decide.  It does not matter what led you down the path you are now in, YOU with the right understanding can change your direction and who you have become, to BE who you were created to BE.  That talk will be the discussion in my next post.  Say tuned.